When I returned from my first year in China, I avoided mirrors. If I caught a glimpse of myself while washing my hands in a public bathroom, I would shake my head, look down, and walk out. It wasn’t until a member of my family said, “Oh my god, what happened to your face?” did I begin to acknowledge the unbelievable amount of acne that had amassed in my time in Ningyuan and the necessity to do something about it. When at the dermatologist’s office, I remember looking at the before picture of my face and for the first time, accepting how far my skin had deteriorated. I looked pretty angry in that photo.
Facing Things As They Are
The most difficult part of that entire process wasn’t the numerous trips to the dermatologist, the supplements, the products, or implementing a new routine. It was taking an honest look at myself and coming out of my denial. Looking at where we actually are in life is the first step towards being where we truly want to be. How much time, energy, and life do we waste by diluting ourselves that we’re in a place, we’re really not?
What path could you take?
This is by no means easy. It takes courage to look at oneself honestly and accept that as much as we want to be at a certain skill level, we’re not. As much as we want to love someone to the extent they love us or vise versa, we don’t. As much as we want to be 5 pounds lighter than we actually are…
Honesty Gives Us Power to Change
I realized through my acne debacle and other instances in life, however, that when I actually take an honest look in the mirror, it is incredibly freeing. I can actually do something to achieve my dreams and goals, rather than hiding behind denial.
I’ve slowly come to accept that I will most likely never have the skin I did before I left for Ningyuan. Even with all the laser treatments, creams, and facials, there is still some residual scaring, but it’s okay. When I look in the mirror, I still see the acne and scaring, but I also see my face as a whole, my eyes, and hair. I see me, and sometimes, I even catch a smile.
Great post, Jackie!
Thanks Jess!
Kudos, Jackie 🙂
Thanks!
I hear ya, sister. I’ve dealt with both acne and denial. Thank you so much! I’m going to work on a personal email to you as I’ve just come out of a rough patch. Be in touch soon. Brenda
Thanks Brenda! Looking forward to your e-mail and hope all is going well.
nice work 🙂
Thanks Shadi!
You seem always hit the point with me, like you’re writing to give me advice on life!…miss our chats…I am going back to China next Wed (in 2 days), be there until July 1, then summer in Italy.
I wonder when it will be next time we meet.
Send you hugs. You’re beautiful, and the mild scarring, just consider it as the sign of an amazing experience you had in China. China, want it or not, does mark you somehow, especially PHYSICALLY! (my liver has been crying like a baby since I bought the ticket for the trip…). Lu
Glad to hear it, Luca! Enjoy your trip back to ä¸å›½! I agree with you. China will always be a part of me. Wish I could go back with you and have one of our chats. Will have to settle for a Skype date soon!
Dear Jackie,
I have always considered you a beauty, and that is still true. It is also true that your skin had some real trouble in China- perhaps the level of pollution in the air there?
In any case, once a beauty, always a beauty; I hope you smile more and more often when you look in the mirror.
You are lovely! Margaret
Thank you Margaret! I think it was several things, mostly the extremely spicy food in Hunan that my body wasn’t used to that first year.
In my eyes ,you are always the most beautiful!
Thank you, Harry! That’s so sweet!