Chinese have a popular saying, “man man lai.” It literally translates as “slow, slow, come,” but essentially means to take things slowly or to give it time. I have fought this idea my entire life.
On the Move
I love going fast. I love being out, exploring the world. I love moving forward. This is why living in New York suited me so well. Before moving back to China for this project, I was always on the road. I would easily be in 2-5 cities in a month and sometimes in multiple countries for client projects, and I loved every minute of it.
People would shake their head and say, “But don’t you get tired?”
I would smile and honestly say, “Sometimes, but mostly, it energizes me.”
Moving back to China
When I moved back to Hangzhou, I noticed that I didn’t have a desire to travel on the weekends like I did when I lived here before from 2007-2009 and my work here doesn’t require me to travel, so for the first time 13 years, I’ve stayed in one city. I found myself taking pleasure in being at home, going to the office, building local community, and bike commuting again. I became the leader of a local running group, gave my second TEDx talk, and slowed my life down significantly.
…or so I thought.
And then…
Breaking my foot last week hit hard.
In the words of an email from a good friend who saw a post on Instagram (subject read: Broken foot?!). “I know that you are the kind of person that embodies what it means to always be moving (literally and figuratively) – so I’m sure this is not the easiest thing for you to go through.”
Those of you who know me well are probably laughing as you read this because although I may think that I’ve significantly slowed down, most people would bawk if they saw my September schedule before all this happened.
It’s amazing how much comes to a grinding halt when you can’t walk.
Of course, my first thought was:
How do I speed up the healing process? (If I could insert the crying laughing emoji face here, I would)
My very helpful and persistent doctor friend insisted, “REST, Jackie. That is the best thing you can do for your body. Your body needs time to heal.”
“Did this man just say TIME?!” (insert smack my head emoji)
The doctors told me 4 weeks in a cast. 3 months no exercise. I’ve gotten third, fourth, and maybe even fifth opinions, and while the timeline and potential for activity varies, it’s more or less the same conclusion.
慢慢来 man man lai
Photo by Randalyn Hill on Unsplash
Hidden Gifts
It seems the universe is forcing inviting me to slow down. I’m not sure what it all means yet, but by far one of the biggest gifts of this situation is human kindness.
I sprained my ankle badly in Atlanta before moving back to China last year. I also couldn’t walk, but I was home. I had family and close friends I’d known since high school. I had a built-in support system. Even when I had to get an emergency appendectomy in Panama, I had one of my oldest and closest friends with me.
When you’re on the other side of the world, you don’t have the same support. And yet, I am incredibly grateful to have been surrounded by kindness — from friends, colleagues, doctors, neighbors, store owners, baristas, CaoCao drivers, and in some cases, new people that have come into my life and have pleasantly surprised with me with their patience, compassion, and personal healing.
People are what matter
I’m convinced now more than ever that human kindness has the power to change everything. Life happens. Who we share and go through it with is what truly matters.
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. -African Proverb
As my very kind CaoCao driver yesterday said as he was helping me out of the car, ” 不要急。慢慢来. 慢走。” “Don’t rush. man man lai. Walk slowly.”
Slowly Forward
I’ve been sitting here for the past hour trying to artfully conclude this post, but the truth is I’m still learning. I don’t have the answers on this one, but I will say this:
Give thanks. In the middle of your crazy busy hectic day, stop. Slow down. And take a look around you. You’re alive. You’re (hopefully) healthy, walking, breathing.
Most importantly, do something kind for someone else today — a kind word, a smile, an open door, an act of service, something.
Slow down and make the time because it really does matter.