“Would you rather be right or dead?” I remember my friend asking me this minutes after I’d almost been hit by a car. Although I had the right of way, people in Atlanta are not used to pedestrians or bikers in cross-walks, so a BMW flew around the corner, and it was a close call.
Rather than thanking my lucky stars, I complained angrily to my friend, “What is wrong with people?!”
My friend replied, “Doesn’t matter how right you are if you’re dead.”
The other working title for this post was: “It’s a thin line between Righteousness and Bravery.”
First Bike Accident of My Life
I’ve been biking since I was 6-years-old, and I have been commuting daily in China and San Francisco for a total of 6 years combined, and I’ve never had an accident or been thrown from my bike until today.
The situation was the same as Atlanta. I technically had the right of way, but for whatever reason, I was more interested in being right than going unscathed, thinking the man on the ebike would do the right thing and move.
He did not.
There was a temporary pole to hold a tree, and long story short, my speed was too great, the path too narrow, and the man unwilling to move, so we collided. I went flying off my bike, skidding onto the pavement — all my weight jammed into my right shoulder. It hurt. A lot. He was completely fine and just looked at me.
When I asked him, “Why didn’t you move?”
He replied, “You should have been slower.” And then he sped away on his ebike.
Was being “right” worth it?
Yin and Yang
You may be familiar with the ancient Taoist philosophy of Yin and Yang, the concept of dualism in Chinese philosophy. The light and the dark is characterized by the symbol below. The good, the bad. The feminine and masculine. The moon and sun. Night and Day. Action and receptivity. Positive and Negative.
What does Yin and Yang have to do with a bike accident?
You may also be familiar with yogic philosophy of Shiva (masculine energy) and Shakti (feminine energy) and the concept of male and female sides of the body. The left side is female. The right side is male.
I was very much in Yang energy as I sped towards my goal of crossing the intersection, and I fell on the right side of my body, damaging my right shoulder and elbow. According to Louise Hays’ Heal Your Body, the shoulder represents our ability to carry our experiences in life joyously and the elbow represents changing directions and new experiences. I’ve been making a lot of significant changes in my life lately, all positive, but I will be the first to admit, I’ve been approaching them from a predominantly Yang approach, leaving little to no room for Yin.
And this is how I’ve lived much of my life. I’ve used Yin to Dream and Yang to Do.
This has served me very well on the whole, but I’m seeing clearly these days that it doesn’t have to be such a separate process. Our society tends to value the Yang, but what parts of the Yin can we learn from? Where can we allow and create space for the journey instead of rushing to the finish line, especially as women?
Why is it important to balance Yin + Yang?
We are whole beings, and when we rob ourselves of our interconnectedness within ourselves or with each other, there are consequences (like getting hurled off a bicycle). Kidding aside, everything in our world needs balance to maintain homeostasis. Not enough rain over time causes drought. Too much rain and there’s flooding. Too much Yang or Yin in our lives, and we either burn out or become depressed. Moreover, if we don’t balance our own Yin and Yang, Shiva and Shakti, we are missing out on all the benefits that both sides have to offer. Using your intuition coupled with action is a potent and powerful combination for example.
I took today as a not-so-gentle reminder to not get so focused on the goal or task at hand that I forget to make room for the process, even if that means momentarily slowing down for my surroundings.
Getting back on the bike
One of the benefits or drawbacks of bike commuting is that getting back on the bike immediately is often easier than the alternative. I’m very sore, bruised, and scraped, but thankfully I’m okay. It could have been so much worse. I’m heeding the lessons.
There’s a beautiful full moon tonight, the dot of Yang in the Yin. I can’t help but notice that the darkness makes the moon shine that much brighter.