Life is change, but that doesn’t make it easy. How do you handle the unexpected?
The unexpected happens, usually in a moment. Perhaps the better and more poignant question is: how do you deal with the uncertainty that follows the unexpected?
It’s normal to worry and stress, but the sooner you can shift your focus, the sooner you can move forward.
Tips for Dealing with Uncertainty
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
Take a Step Back
Step one — step back. It is so easy to go down the “what if” rabbit hole of possibilities and worst-case scenarios. Sometimes thinking about worst-case situations can be good, if done in a logical, planning way, but in the initial aftermath of the unexpected, it only fans the fear flames, so mentally and physically removing yourself from the situation can help you get perspective.
This can look like taking a quick walk around the building, 3 minutes of deep breathing, or listening to one your favorite songs (I highly recommend the Moana or Sound of Music soundtrack). Working out or doing something completely unrelated is also helpful.
Focus On What You Can Do and Can Give
The unexpected concerns most of us because we feel like we have zero control over the situation, so focus on what you can do and on what you can give. By focusing on what you can offer, you instantly shift your energetic state to that of being in value, which naturally creates more problem-solving thought patterns and takes you out of the “this is happening to me” victim role. It also adds something to the world around you.
Consider a random act of kindness like buying the person behind you in line her cup of coffee or doing something nice for a friend.
Look for the Good
Most situations have a ray of hope somewhere. Asking yourself “what is the good in this?” or “what is the gift in this?” is an easy way to shift your attention to possibilities.
Remind Yourself There Are Always Options
Fear focuses us. That’s its power — to flood cortisol into us, so that we can hightail it from a tiger and live to tell the tale.
Our heart rate doesn’t know the difference between an unexpected change at work and a bear, so once you’ve calmed down a bit remind yourself there are always options. Brainstorming or creating a mind map can help you think of solutions you may not have considered. As Marie Forleo says, “Everything is Figureoutable.”
What if your current uncertainty is actually a great opportunity that will change your life for the better?
Surround Yourself with Support
Call the people that will support you in creating space for moving forward. Do not call the people that will feed the fear, knowing that sometimes that means not immediately sharing what’s going on with our well-meaning friends and family.
Support also means self-care. It is hard to strategize plan B, C, and D when you’re exhausted, not eating nourishing food, or are constantly in fire-extinguisher mode. Make sure to make time for you and what you need to move through next steps.
Trust
I would argue this is the most important and often times, the most difficult. What if there is a greater power and purpose in your life? What if there is a bigger design? Also, trust yourself. Listen to your intuition and know that you are stronger, more capable, and creative than you think.
Moving Forward
As Steve Jobs says, “You can never connect the dots looking forward, only backwards.”
Many of my most difficult periods have turned into infinite blessings. This blog is a perfect example. I started 6 Months to Live on my mom’s couch in 2009 during a recession. Things were bleak, but without that unexpected, uncertain time, I would never have questioned my life, started this blog, moved to San Francisco, written hundreds of letters of appreciation, done a Kickstarter project, met amazing people all over the world, started my business, done two TEDx talks, and the list goes on, so you just never know what can spring from uncertainty…
What are your thoughts? What are some tips that have worked well for you in uncertain times?
